Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
