I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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