do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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