She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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