So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
