If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize