I feel great
I just peed on a car
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
