He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
