I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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