are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
