Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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