I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
