you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
