Christians are straight up FREAKS
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just high enough for therapy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
