Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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