Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
dude. I can hear the air.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize