i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize