who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize