dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
