He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
