Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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