I think I am morally bankrupt
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
