Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
