I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
