I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
