chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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