My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
