My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize