Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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