Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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