frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize