at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
