Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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