she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
