there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
