You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
