At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
