I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
