Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
