im holly from the hills drunk
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
