Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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