We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
