you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize