Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
