i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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