Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i think we sleep fucked last night...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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