The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
