She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
