To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
