five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
