i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
