she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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