I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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