Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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