But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
