he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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