Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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