That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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