Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
