White coat. Heels.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
3 2 1 whiskey
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
