Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
