but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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