plz talk dirty to me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
