It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
my liver is dry heaving
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
